Mayunezu Space Ver.7:「共感できない」

2005/08/25

「共感できない」

共感が強い人は愚痴を言いたい相手に共感して自然に適切な反応ができるけど，共感が弱いと自然にというわけにはいかないと思うのです．

「共感性が強い・弱い」というフレーズを見て、「弱い」方たちとの意見のずれに気がついた。「共感できない」という言葉の解釈が違っているように思う。

私が書く「共感できない」は、「他人が感じることに対して自分が違う感じ方をしている」という意味だ。つまり、何が共感なのかということが分かっているから「違う」と思える。「共感性が弱い」人たちが書いているのは、「感じることができない」ということなのではないか、と思った。「感じない」から共感も反感も持ちようがない。

すでに違うことを感じているのに「共感してるよ」と言うのと、無の状態から一生懸命同じことを感じようとして「共感してるよ」と言うのとは、まったく意味が違う。後者は嘘ではないと思う。
もし私が「共感性が強い人」であるならば、嘘はつきたくない。相手のことを感じられるのなら、嘘をつくよりももっといいコミュニケーション方法があるはずだから。「共感性が弱い人」なら、一生懸命その人の感じ方に合わせることでコミュニケーションを取るというのは一つの方法だと思うし、それがうまい人はやはりスキルが高い人なのだと思う。

共感性の強い人は、もしかすると「反感性」も強いのかもしれない……と、ふと思った。

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初めまして。こうと言います。「共感できない」で検索してこちらにたどり着きました。
私は同僚が「愚痴」や「思い」を言っていると、ほとんどと言っていいほど、何かしらのコメントをします。もちろん、「そうだね」と同意することもありますが、同意できず、反論することもあります。それは、私としては同僚の抱える問題について自分のこと同様に真剣に考えた結果でした。どうにかして打開策をと思い、自分の考えや経験に基づいたアドバイスをしたつもりでした。
しかし、これが裏目に出てしまい、なじられました。後で、「あー、きついね。大変だったね。」と慰めて欲しかったのか、愚痴を静かに聞いて欲しかったのかと反省することが多いです。
友人関係なら愚痴の聞き役もします。ただ、同僚にも同じように聞き役になってあげなければならないというのが、辛いなあと思うときがあります。仕事を優先しすぎるのでしょうか。
この頃、自分がとても冷たい人間に思えてなりません。

by こう 2007.12.13 15:06

はじめまして。

共感できない　で検索してまいりました。
わたしもこの共感という行為が大の苦手です。よく知らない人から共感らしきことを言われてしまうと、この人はなんなのか？ごますってるのか？と警戒してしまいます。
そもそもわたしは、愚痴をこぼすことがありません。ただ聞いてくれればいいという会話は、わたしには考えられないからです。
また、同じ経験をしても人によって感じ方はちがうのだから、共感を求めるのはおかしいとさえ思っていました。
いまだに、共感というものがなぜ必要なのか、よくわからないのです。みんなちがった方がおもしろいし、ただ愚痴を言うより、解決策を考える方がいいと思うからです。共感の強い人だらけの陪審員だったら、恐いとさえ思います。

by (・ε・） 2005.12.27 02:12

「共感性が弱い」と感じる事ができないというのはそのとおりです．...[more]

by おのひろきおんらいん 2005.08.26 22:21

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