Mayunezu Space Ver.7:コミュニケーションスキル

2005/08/21

コミュニケーションスキル

最近、コミュニケーションスキルについて考えさせられた記事。

たとえムッとしたとしても、ネット上にその表情は見えないんだから『ありがとう』と書けばいい。あれこれ言われたとしても、結局何かを教えてもらえるならば、ありがたい

ネットの匿名性は、どちらかというとマイナス方向に使われることが多い。男は女になり、貧乏人は社長になって人をだます。普段は絶対に言えない中傷を大きな顔で言える。犯罪だってできる。でも、顔が見えない＝リアルタイムの感情が分からないということは、プラス方向に使うことも可能だということを教えてくれる言葉。

文字だけでコミュニケーションをしようとすると、どうしてもその字面からすべてを判断しようとしてしまい、感情的になりやすい。でも、それが書かれた本来の目的を考えれば、少なくても相手に対してはその感情は出さずに済む。たとえば上の例の場合、言われている言葉がたとえ否定的なことであっても、自分の立てたスレに対して返事をしているという前提に対して「ありがたい」と感じられるかどうか……ここが「コミュニケーションスキル」なのではないかと思う。

▼おのひろきおんらいん：
共感をエミュレーションするシステム化型の脳

話題についての意見や問題についての解決策を求めて相手はぼくに話をしているのではなくて，単に共感して欲しいと思っている場合があるのです．いつでも話に本当にそのまま共感できるわけではありません．だから共感した振りをします．
「それは大変だったね．」「それは辛かったね．」「それはひどいね．あなたが怒るのも，もっともです．」
それがコミュニケーションスキルってものかなと．

私は、普段の自分とは違う行動を取ったり、思っていることと違うことを言ったりするような「ウソ」がうまいことは、コミュニケーションスキルが高いことだとは思わない。共感していないものに対して無理に共感の言葉をかければその場はしのげるかもしれないけれど、コミュニケーションが取れているとは言いがたい。自分で流れをあえて止めるようなやりとりは、コミュニケーションとはいわないと思う。

# おそらくおのひろきさんは共感することを「スキル」と表現したのではなく、その前の「予測」の部分を「スキル」とおっしゃったのだと理解しています。

▼「考えるシート」　山田ズーニー著
この本によると、コミュニケーションとは「問い」に答えることだとある。自分の言いたいことを、言いたいままに言っても「つながらない」。言いたいことを、相手の「問い」に対して答える形で伝えることで、相手と初めてコミュニケーションできる、と書かれている。

先述のおのひろきさんの記事で言うと、

会話中に相手のモデルを想定して，反応を予測して会話をする．

の「モデル」が「問い」に当たるものだろう。

結局コミュニケーションスキルは、

・コミュニケーションの「前提」を理解している
・自分の「言いたいこと」を把握している
・相手の「問い」を読みとっている
・「前提」を踏まえ、「言いたいこと」を「問い」に答える形で伝えられる

このすべてを満たす力なのだとこの本を読んで思った。
そんな方向で自分を高めていけたらよいのだけど。

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by Sgqznxaz 2009.07.15 17:16

＞のこぎり山のたぬきさん
こんにちは。いらっしゃいませ〜。
「気持ちがすれ違っているような気がする」という不安って、とても漠然としたものであることが多いですよね。原因は分からないけど、なんだかすれ違いを感じる、という感じで。
記事内で紹介した「考えるシート」にもそんなことが書いてあった気がします。つながっていないことにも気づいていないやりとりをしていて、あとでもやもやが残る、と。
それは、相手の「問い」に答えるやりとりをしていないから、だとありました。その「問い」を見つけるのがなかなか難しいのですが……少なくてもこの本を読んで「問いを見つけよう」という意識を持つきっかけにはなったかなと思っています。

by Mayunezu 2005.08.26 21:04

深いなあ。。

コミュニケーション。。

できてるかな、、と自省

夫婦で親子で、会社のスタッフ

気持ちがすれ違っているような。。

なかなかうまくいきません。。

はあ。。

またおじゃましますね。

by のこぎり山のたぬき 2005.08.24 09:32

相手の意図をくんで，それにあった受け答えをするという事は，人によっては極自然にできるし，人によってはかなり意識してがんばらないとならないとします．がんばって適切......[more]

by おのひろきおんらいん 2005.08.22 14:03

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