自分が人から見られているイメージ(パブリックイメージ)と、自分が自分を見ているイメージは、多かれ少なかれギャップがあるとは思うのだけど、それが大きいと結構苦しい。パブリックイメージは自分が人に見せている情報から作られるわけだから、まあパブリックイメージを作っているのも自分自身なのだけども。
そういう情報がまったく自分では意図しない方向に解釈されてしまって、人生に影響することが私の場合結構ある。それで救われたこともあるけれど、パブリックイメージに自分が追いつくためにずいぶん苦労したり努力したりしたこともあった。
私は基本的にかなりのレベルまで誰にでも自分をオープンにするほうなのだけど(だからこういうBlogが書ける)、同じことに対する自分の解釈と他人の解釈がまったく違うことに驚くことがよくある。そこから、パブリックイメージと自己評価とのギャップが生まれてくるのだと思う。
私のことを、パブリックイメージだけで見ていない人はどのくらいいるのだろう。パブリックイメージを利用して「演技」をするような生き方はしたくないのだけど、結果的にそうなってしまっているのかな。
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