Mayunezu Space Ver.7:努力と才能

2005/09/11

努力と才能

私は、中学生までは「才能型」の人だった。
勉強でいい成績を取るのに努力はいらなかった。テストはカンで答えても自然に点が取れていた。こんなことをクラスメイトに言っても信じてもらえないから言わなかったけど、本当に勉強はしてなかった。

中学２年生のとき、成績の順位をいつも争っている友達がいた。彼女は同じ部活で、同じようにエレクトーンを習っていて、取り組むものが似ていたので、よく話をした。
彼女は「努力の人」だった。本当に一生懸命勉強していたし、部活も一生懸命やっていた（私は部活への出席率は３割以下で顧問に呼び出されるような不良部員だった）。

彼女は一生懸命練習して、８０人いるテニス部の部員の中で１０人くらいしかなれない選手に選ばれた。でも、彼女はレギュラーにはどうしてもなれなかった。「才能のある」選手たちに、どうしても勝てなかった。
成績もそうだった。すごく努力しているのに、私より上の順位になれない。いつも私が学年２位、彼女が３位だった。（ちなみに１位の子は「天才」という感じで、近寄りがたい空気の人だった。突然私の腕にかみついて「愛情表現よ」とか言う子だった）

努力していない自分が勝ってしまっていいんだろうかと常に思っていたし、怖いと思っていた。いつか、努力が才能に勝つときがくると心のどこかで思っていた。

しかし実際は、その結果を待たずに私は転校した。
彼女とはそれ以来連絡は取っていない。

それから何年もの月日が流れた。
努力をせずに生きた私は、努力という言葉の意味を正しく理解しないまま大学受験を迎えて撃沈し、浪人をしても愛する人との日々を大切にし続けた。それなりの大学に入り、運良く結婚もできてしまい、生活も安定し、努力をする理由がなくなってしまった。

そんなときに出会ったのが、某Webデザイン系のスクールだった。そこではじめて努力をしたと実感した。それは同時に、自分が「才能型」の人間ではないと気づいたことも意味していた。

私には才能がない。どの分野においても基本的に中途半端。ついていくためには努力するしかない。今の仕事では特にそれを強く感じている。自分の才能のなさを恨んでいる暇があったら努力しろ！と自分を戒めるしかない。努力しても、才能がある人にはかなわないと知りながら。

こんなことを思うとき、中２のときのライバルの彼女をいつも思い出す。
彼女は今、どうしているだろう。

コメント/トラックバック(273)
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zjO5UK

by Eunezdul 2009.07.15 06:08

わお、事情を知ってる人が現れた（笑）

＞えっちゃん
久しぶり(^^)
あのころはほんとに、すべてカンで生きてた気がするなあ。。。^^;
そそ、彼女はみんなを噛んでましたな（笑）なんとなく、えっちゃんが噛まれてるのも見た記憶が……

by Mayunezu 2005.09.28 12:34

何となく、私は分かってたよ。多分才能なんだろうなぁ、って。不思議だね。

１位の人には私も噛まれました（笑）

by えっちゃん 2005.09.28 12:08

Since 1997.6　Managed by Mayunezu.
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